September Song

It’s been a while since I posted anything on my social media accounts. I’ve been in a rot lately. I’ve been through a lot too. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety. It was in the latter part of September when an unfortunate event happened (it was beyond my control), and from there, everything went down like a domino. Amidst the misfortune, I woke up one day and I felt very alone (except for the fact that I have my family and friends and they’re so supportive). I started hating who I was. I hated my arms, I hated my cheeks, I hated my face, and I hated everything. Yes, weeks ago, I was that person. I wasn’t very nice to myself.

Until one day, I was listening to some songs and I came across this song by JP Cooper which is titled – September Song. Ironically it’s a love song about remembering how he spent his summer when he was 15 (summer happens to be around August to September in non-tropical countries). But it was through this song I was able to come to my senses. And then it flashed back to how I started my September this year, I was quite happy. There’s a line in the song which says, “Our love is as strong as a lion”. Then it struck me. I talked to myself, “hey Lil, how come we have drifted apart?” I used to strongly love me, but why did I let me down? I was sad, I struggled. There was no easy way out, and it’s hard to get away from it. But then it’s a process. People were telling me “things are gonna get better”, but I just felt like people were just saying it because they didn’t know what else to say to a person who’s very sad. Coz what else can you say? It sounded so cliché, and you don't really feel that it's gonna get better. BUT IT DOES! The thing with going through anything is to just “go through it”. Then one day I woke up, and I wasn’t so sad anymore. I didn’t hate me anymore.

So why am I saying this? What’s the whole point of even blogging this? What have I learned from all of these? There are a lot of questions popping out. But yeah, I guess being creative is a perfect way of channeling out all devastation that you’re feeling. As for me, Snapchat and Twitter has been my outlet and it helped me a lot! Writing, it’s my passion. And in everything that I’ve been through, writing essentially played a big role for me to move on. I’ve also come to realize that, I am not the only one in this world who is this sad. And things are not always what they appear to be. There was a time in my life that I was more depressed and nobody knew about it, no one in my life really knew how depressed I was. You just never really know the war and struggles in someone’s mind no matter what they may appear like on the outside. The key to overcome all these is to just have faith. Have faith in what’s gonna happen, have faith in your family and friends, have faith in yourself and most importantly, have faith in God. No matter what your beliefs are, there is one divine being who is always by your side. I believe we’re all here for something, we’re all put in this earth for a purpose. Nothing in our lives is for no reason.

Now I don’t know how to end this hahaha! Oh well, I should park it here and just end it with this:

“Focus on getting better, I’m going through something bad right now, but I can push through it. I CAN DO THIS!” 

I CAN DO THIS!