It’s been a while since I posted
anything on my social media accounts. I’ve been in a rot lately. I’ve been
through a lot too. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety. It was in
the latter part of September when an unfortunate event happened (it was beyond
my control), and from there, everything went down like a domino. Amidst the
misfortune, I woke up one day and I felt very alone (except for the fact that I
have my family and friends and they’re so supportive). I started hating who I was.
I hated my arms, I hated my cheeks, I hated my face, and I hated everything.
Yes, weeks ago, I was that person. I wasn’t very nice to myself.
Until one day, I was listening to
some songs and I came across this song by JP Cooper which is titled – September
Song. Ironically it’s a love song about remembering how he spent his summer when
he was 15 (summer happens to be around August to September in non-tropical
countries). But it was through this song I was able to come to my senses. And
then it flashed back to how I started my September this year, I was quite
happy. There’s a line in the song which says, “Our love is as strong as a lion”.
Then it struck me. I talked to myself, “hey Lil, how come we have drifted
apart?” I used to strongly love me, but why did I let me down? I was sad, I
struggled. There was no easy way out, and it’s hard to get away from it. But
then it’s a process. People were telling me “things are gonna get better”, but
I just felt like people were just saying it because they didn’t know what else
to say to a person who’s very sad. Coz what else can you say? It sounded so cliché,
and you don't really feel that it's gonna get better. BUT IT DOES! The thing
with going through anything is to just “go through it”. Then one day I
woke up, and I wasn’t so sad anymore. I didn’t hate me anymore.
So why am I saying this? What’s
the whole point of even blogging this? What have I learned from all of these?
There are a lot of questions popping out. But yeah, I guess being creative is a
perfect way of channeling out all devastation that you’re feeling. As for me,
Snapchat and Twitter has been my outlet and it helped me a lot! Writing, it’s
my passion. And in everything that I’ve been through, writing essentially
played a big role for me to move on. I’ve also come to realize that, I am not
the only one in this world who is this sad. And things are not always what they
appear to be. There was a time in my life that I was more depressed and nobody
knew about it, no one in my life really knew how depressed I was. You just
never really know the war and struggles in someone’s mind no matter what they
may appear like on the outside. The key to overcome all these is to just have
faith. Have faith in what’s gonna happen, have faith in your family and
friends, have faith in yourself and most importantly, have faith in God. No
matter what your beliefs are, there is one divine being who is always by your
side. I believe we’re all here for something, we’re all put in this earth for a
purpose. Nothing in our lives is for no reason.
Now I don’t know how to end this
hahaha! Oh well, I should park it here and just end it with this:
“Focus on getting better, I’m
going through something bad right now, but I can push through it. I CAN DO
THIS!”
 |
| I CAN DO THIS! |
